Post by alicecullen on Mar 1, 2009 0:44:12 GMT -8
So i was searching the internet, and what should I happen to find but '21 ways to infuriate Edward, by Alice Cullen' I thought it was funny so here's the list (I didn't make this one it was from someone on Fanfiction.net Click here to see.
Well, I have to do something to amuse myself, don’t I? I can’t be expected to spend all my time shopping or hunting. And don’t get me wrong, Emmett is fun to annoy, but there’s only so many times you can piss him off before it gets boring, but Edward is a different story. Infuriating him never gets old, and if you knew him you’d understand why. I mean, just look at him when he gets the slightest bit annoyed. He’s always so formal and proper even when he just wants to rip your head off. Trust me, I’ve had experience with this. And without further ado, I give you ways to irritate my brother. Enjoy.
#1 Destroy his entire collection of cds.
#2 Replace them all with music from the sixties and seventies.
#3 After he returns from a hunting trip that he made you stay behind from – again – to watch Bella, tell him that Bella and her future ‘mysteriously disappeared’ and present him with her engagement ring.
#4 Inform him that he can relax because Jacob finally imprinted. Casually add that he imprinted on Bella.
#5 Fake a vision and tell him that the Volturi are coming for Bella, as per the deal.
#6 When he asks, tell him that you agreed to let them have her in exchange for a new Lambourghini.
#7 Replace all of Bella’s shoes with stiletto heels and watch as Edward spends his entire day saving her as she trips.
#8 Play dress up with Bella more often than usual, denying it when she complains to Edward.
#9 Dress her up in very flattering clothes and watch Edward struggle with his self-control.
#10 Give him two minute updates of Bella’s future and when he tells you to stop, tell him that you were just trying to help, you thought he cared about the safety of his future wife.
#11 Walk inside when you know Bella is there and take a deep breath saying, “Mmmm, something smells tasty. What’s for dinner?”
#12 When he tries to read your mind, count backwards from one hundred in Chinese. Every time he does it.
#13 Approach him, pretending not to notice Bella, and wink, asking him how Tanya’s been doing lately.
#14 Talk to him and Bella endlessly about wedding details – dresses, shoes, guests, food, music, etc.
#15 Buy Bella new things every day. You know she hates it when you spend money on her. And Edward hates it when she’s not happy.
#16 Destroy his piano, not telling him that it’s actually an old broken one you got in a pawn shop and his is really hidden in the garage.
#17 Do to him what he does to you – continuously ask him if he’ll watch over Bella and make sure she stays safe.
#18 Ask him if he’s ever considered going to therapy to deal with this strange fixation he has for weak human girls
#19 After returning from the mall, ask Bella in a stage-whisper how many guys asked her out, and if that broke the record from your last shopping trip
#20 Ask him if he’s ever considered a theme song for himself and suggest a song you know he hates.
#21 Buy a pair of red colour contacts and wear them as you pick Bella up for a shopping trip. Smile sweetly at her as she runs to Edward.
There you have it. Of course, there are many more ways to infuriate my brother, but why should I give them all away? If everyone else uses these I need something he won’t be expecting.
Well, I have to do something to amuse myself, don’t I? I can’t be expected to spend all my time shopping or hunting. And don’t get me wrong, Emmett is fun to annoy, but there’s only so many times you can piss him off before it gets boring, but Edward is a different story. Infuriating him never gets old, and if you knew him you’d understand why. I mean, just look at him when he gets the slightest bit annoyed. He’s always so formal and proper even when he just wants to rip your head off. Trust me, I’ve had experience with this. And without further ado, I give you ways to irritate my brother. Enjoy.
#1 Destroy his entire collection of cds.
#2 Replace them all with music from the sixties and seventies.
#3 After he returns from a hunting trip that he made you stay behind from – again – to watch Bella, tell him that Bella and her future ‘mysteriously disappeared’ and present him with her engagement ring.
#4 Inform him that he can relax because Jacob finally imprinted. Casually add that he imprinted on Bella.
#5 Fake a vision and tell him that the Volturi are coming for Bella, as per the deal.
#6 When he asks, tell him that you agreed to let them have her in exchange for a new Lambourghini.
#7 Replace all of Bella’s shoes with stiletto heels and watch as Edward spends his entire day saving her as she trips.
#8 Play dress up with Bella more often than usual, denying it when she complains to Edward.
#9 Dress her up in very flattering clothes and watch Edward struggle with his self-control.
#10 Give him two minute updates of Bella’s future and when he tells you to stop, tell him that you were just trying to help, you thought he cared about the safety of his future wife.
#11 Walk inside when you know Bella is there and take a deep breath saying, “Mmmm, something smells tasty. What’s for dinner?”
#12 When he tries to read your mind, count backwards from one hundred in Chinese. Every time he does it.
#13 Approach him, pretending not to notice Bella, and wink, asking him how Tanya’s been doing lately.
#14 Talk to him and Bella endlessly about wedding details – dresses, shoes, guests, food, music, etc.
#15 Buy Bella new things every day. You know she hates it when you spend money on her. And Edward hates it when she’s not happy.
#16 Destroy his piano, not telling him that it’s actually an old broken one you got in a pawn shop and his is really hidden in the garage.
#17 Do to him what he does to you – continuously ask him if he’ll watch over Bella and make sure she stays safe.
#18 Ask him if he’s ever considered going to therapy to deal with this strange fixation he has for weak human girls
#19 After returning from the mall, ask Bella in a stage-whisper how many guys asked her out, and if that broke the record from your last shopping trip
#20 Ask him if he’s ever considered a theme song for himself and suggest a song you know he hates.
#21 Buy a pair of red colour contacts and wear them as you pick Bella up for a shopping trip. Smile sweetly at her as she runs to Edward.
There you have it. Of course, there are many more ways to infuriate my brother, but why should I give them all away? If everyone else uses these I need something he won’t be expecting.